Values-Based Beauty: A Manifesto of My Personal Beauty Philosophy

50 years old, with lines, pores, and peach fuzz. Still no botox, fillers, or filters (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I've been meditating on this idea for quite some time now - the idea that beauty is not one-size-fits-all, despite what conventional beauty standards may have us believe - and the notion that our own values around beauty shift over time.

We've all stood before the mirror and heard the whispers—from magazines, social media, well-meaning friends, or our own internal critics. "Fix this." "Hide that." "You'd be beautiful if only..." Since its beginning, the beauty industry has thrived by first creating insecurity, then selling the solution. But what if there's another way?

I believe there is. Welcome to values-based beauty—an approach that turns the traditional beauty narrative inside out. Instead of starting with what's supposedly "wrong" with you, we begin with what matters most to you. Your principles. Your priorities. Your unique definition of beauty and what role it plays in your life.

This isn't about rejecting beauty or embracing it uncritically. It's about reclaiming it on your own terms—making it personal, intentional, and aligned with who you truly are.

As a lifelong lover and consumer of beauty, my relationship with my own pursuit of beauty has evolved as I've walked through the different eras of my life. What once felt essential now seems superfluous, what once seemed intimidating now feels empowering. This is my manifesto on "Values-Based Beauty," and what happens when you start caring more about how beauty makes you feel than how it makes you look.

My Beauty Journey

As a younger woman, beauty to me was a relentless pursuit of new products with seductive promises, each one whispering that I was somehow incomplete without it. I used it to cover flaws, to stand out, differentiate, and attract attention. I wasn't just consuming beauty, I was consumed by it - surrendering paychecks to an endless parade of elixirs, oils, acids, pigments, and tools. Each purchase carried the unspoken hope that this would be the one to finally make me enough.

This hunger for transformation eventually led me to train professionally as a makeup artist and esthetician. I wanted to understand the alchemy more deeply, to "master" the science and art of beauty. And I discovered something genuine amid the marketing noise—the undeniable magic in revealing to someone how a thoughtfully placed sweep of color, a strategic play of shadow and light, could illuminate not just their features but their entire mood. That connection, that moment of seeing someone see themselves anew, brought me profound joy. It still does.

But now, as a 50-year-old woman, beauty means something different to me.

Now, my beauty rituals are sacred conversations with my own skin. My fingertips massage the lines of my face with gratitude rather than judgment—thanking my skin for sheltering me through decades of laughter, tears, sunshine, and storms. What was once a frantic attempt to disguise has transformed into a deliberate practice of reverence for what is. I find myself drawn to products not for their promises of correction but for their sensory symphonies—the herbaceous notes of botanical oils, the experience of silken textures. My rituals give me solo time to bookend my day, elevating my mood and boosting my confidence in the morning and then relaxing me and clearing the day's events from my mind in the evening. This time is for me and my experience and not in service of anyone else's gaze.

Does that mean that I'm immune to the internal struggles of watching myself age? Absolutely not. I use tools to care for my skin and enhance my features, of course. I look at old pictures at myself and laugh for not appreciating who I was back then, knowing that I'll do the same 10 years from now if I'm not careful. So I'm deliberately trying to be careful. To appreciate. To understand the my limits and my values around beauty, and accept that they - like everything else in life - may inevitably change one day.

Values-Based Beauty on Your Terms

Is there any other way to practice living your values than on your own terms? Values-based beauty simply means practicing beauty in alignment with your own values. For you, this could mean everything from supporting larger brands who are committed to ethics and sustainability to buying exclusively from small-batch creators, or even fully rejecting—or embracing—conventional beauty standards. It may mean embracing that in-office procedure or deciding that's not for you. Whatever you decide, it's your decision to own.

Everyone's values are different, and I don't judge what an individual's goals are with regard to beauty. I don't believe anyone needs to look a certain way or should feel pressured to embrace or reject any particular standards. What I find fascinating, though, is how we collectively respond when someone steps outside conventional beauty norms. Take Aimee Lou Wood from The White Lotus Season 3—her decision to keep her distinctive smile rather than having her teeth "corrected" or "veneered into submission" has generated significant attention precisely because it's become so rare. In a landscape where celebrity beauty often blends into homogeneity, Woods' choice to preserve what makes her uniquely beautiful stands as a quiet rebellion against the culturally bland ideal of what an actress "should" look like. Her authenticity reminds us that our distinctive features aren't flaws to fix, but potentially the very elements that make us most memorable and compelling.

As an owner of an aqualine nose, I spend decades wondering if I should get a nose job. The product of my father's Roman nose and my mother's pert, upturned Barbie nose, it was a source of deep insecurity for decades. Now, I can't imagine who I would be without my unique profile. It connects me to ancestors I never met but whose DNA flows through my veins. It's the feature my husband finds instantly recognizable in a crowd. With the perspective that only time can provide, I now recognize the profound gift of hesitation—the thousands of dollars not spent on rhinoplasty are nothing compared to the wealth of having kept one of my most distinctive features. I can no longer imagine who I would be without this nose that is unmistakably, unapologetically mine. The face that greets me in the mirror each morning isn't perfect by conventional standards, but it is perfectly, completely me.

What I'm offering you now isn't just beauty advice—it's an invitation to discover or rediscover your authentic relationship with beauty. I'm here to help you uncover what truly matters to you, then provide the resources, techniques, and inspiration to create a beauty practice that honors those values. Think of this as your exit ramp from the endless treadmill of beauty marketing, influencer trends, and constant product launches. Instead, I'm offering a path that leads back to yourself—to confidence that comes from alignment rather than conformity, and to beauty rituals that feel personally meaningful rather than obligatory. This is about reclaiming beauty as a form of self-expression and self-care, not as another standard to meet or fall short of.

Additional Tenets of Values-Based Beauty

Intentional Consumption

Beauty in alignment with your values begins with mindful choices about what deserves space in your life. Intentional consumption means stepping back from the frenzy of new releases and "must-have" products to ask deeper questions about what you bring into your home and onto your skin. It's about having a genuine reason for each purchase and ensuring that the brands you support reflect your broader values around consumerism, ethics, and impact. Rather than succumbing to the dopamine hit of impulse buying, intentional beauty consumers pause to consider: "Does this product fulfill a real need in my routine?" "Will it serve me consistently and well?" "Does this purchase align with what truly matters to me?" This thoughtful approach transforms beauty from a collection of random acquisitions into a curated expression of your personal values—where each item has meaning, purpose, and a rightful place in your life.

Body Neutrality & Acceptance

There is nothing wrong with your body, your skin, or your appearance. Full stop. You aren't a collection of "problems" waiting to be solved or "flaws" needing correction. The wrinkles around your eyes speak to years of laughter and expression. The hyperpigmentation tells stories of adventures in the sun. Your cellulite is simply the normal structure of female skin—found on over 90% of women. These aren't deficiencies; they're simply part of being human. Values-based beauty begins with the radical acceptance that you are already complete, already worthy, already pretty dang cool—exactly as you are. Beauty rituals aren't repair work; they're creative expression, sensory pleasure, and personal celebration. They can coexist beautifully with body acceptance when they come from a place of "I embrace this" rather than "I hate this." The difference is transformative: when you approach beauty as enhancement rather than correction, everything changes—from the products you choose to the feelings they evoke when you use them.

Age Positivity

Every line on your face has been earned. Every gray hair is a testament to survival and experience. Every change in your skin's texture represents another year of touching, feeling, and living in this remarkable world. Aging isn't the enemy—it's the physical manifestation of the privilege of time. Those of us who are aging aren't failing at youth; we're succeeding at life. We are the fortunate ones who get to witness another sunrise, share another laugh, learn another lesson. Values-based beauty rejects the toxic narrative of "anti-aging" that treats our natural evolution as a disease to be combated. Instead, it embraces a pro-aging perspective that honors the beauty inherent in every stage of life. This isn't about surrendering to time but celebrating its gifts—the confidence that comes from self-knowledge, the wisdom born of experience, and the freedom that emerges when we stop apologizing for taking up space in the world. Beauty doesn't diminish with age—it transforms, deepens, and becomes more authentically our own.

Accessibility

Beauty is our birthright as humans—not a luxury reserved for the privileged few. Long before cosmetic counters and Instagram filters, our ancestors adorned themselves with earth pigments, surrounded themselves with fragrant flowers, and celebrated beauty with whatever was at hand. This fundamental human impulse to create and appreciate beauty transcends economic boundaries, physical limitations, and technical expertise. In a world where marketing constantly suggests that beauty is available only to those who can afford the latest $95 serum or master complicated techniques, we must reclaim this truth: beauty belongs to everyone who has ever marveled at a sunset, felt their heart race at music, or savored a perfect bite of food. Values-based beauty dismantles the artificial barriers erected by consumerism and elitism. It recognizes that feeling good in your skin isn't a privilege to be purchased but a fundamental human experience—whether that comes through a carefully saved-for product, a homemade remedy passed down through generations, or simply the way you choose to move through the world with confidence. The democratization of beauty isn't just about price points; it's about honoring every person's inherent right to self-expression and joy.

Knowledge Empowerment

Values-based choices require transparency. The beauty industry has historically thrived on mystery, pseudoscience, and carefully guarded "trade secrets," leaving consumers to navigate claims and promises with little substantial information. Believe me, I know....I have a degree in psychology and made a career out of marketing! How can you possibly align your purchases with your values when ingredient lists read like chemical warfare manuals, sustainability claims go unverified, and marketing language deliberately obscures rather than illuminates? True empowerment comes through uncompromising education—demystifying ingredients so you understand what you're applying to your body, clarifying techniques so you can achieve desired results without unnecessary products, and exposing industry practices that may conflict with your core beliefs. Knowledge isn't just power—it's protection against manipulation and the foundation upon which authentic, values-aligned beauty choices are built. When we understand beauty industry practices, we transform from passive consumers into active participants in shaping what beauty means for ourselves and future generations.

The Journey Forward: Beauty as Self-Discovery

Values-based beauty isn't a destination but a journey—one that evolves as you do. There will be moments of clarity and confusion, experimentation and certainty. There will be days when you question cultural norms and days when you simply enjoy the sensory pleasure of your favorite fragrance without analyzing its deeper meaning.

All of this is part of the path.

What matters isn't perfection in your beauty choices, but intention and awareness. Each time you pause before a purchase to consider what truly matters to you, you're practicing values-based beauty. Each time you choose self-compassion over criticism when you look in the mirror, you're living it.

I invite you to join me in this movement—not as followers of a new set of rules, but as explorers charting your own course through the complex landscape of beauty. Together, we can transform beauty from an obligation into a celebration, from a standard to meet into a form of self-expression, from a source of anxiety into a wellspring of joy.

Beauty isn't something you need to earn or achieve. It's already yours to define, experience, and share—on your own terms, aligned with your own values, in your own unique way.

What values will guide your beauty journey? If you'd like help discovering, and living, your beauty values then get in touch.